I Believe..

a man's priorities dictates the way he lives..

D.A.R.Y.L.

Data Analying Robot Youth Life-form

I'm Daryl, an artist by heart and a dreamer of sorts. I am also just a simple guy, currently trying to find my niche in this big world, and trying to discover more of myself - not really an easy feat for people my age. In any case, I was encouraged to write by a certain special someone so here I am, trying to weave words and touch hearts though I'm not really adept at it. For starters, I want you guys to have an idea of who i am, so here goes..

I was named after a film made in the 80's about a young boy who had exceptional intelligence and skill for his age. Turns out, the kid was actually an android that had learned to live and develop emotions like a regular person. Now, my parents wanted me to grow up to be that amazing so that's how i got the name. Unfortunately, I am FAR from being so: i just happened to turn out to be just amazingly blessed with everything in my life. I do love knowledge, though, and i love learning, so i guess that's still a consolation, for all it's worth.

I am a Christian. I am a worshiper. I've always believed in God and I have an awesome, still-growing relationship with my maker. I live to sing Him praises and to give glory to His name at all moments of my life. And no, I AM NOT PERFECT; but I am trying my best to live under His light and provide love to everyone that needs it. I believe that Jesus, my Savior, has redeemed me from sin and that no matter how much i slip and fall, I will always be okay. He is my strength and my refuge, my shelter from the storm. He is my best friend, and my comforter when I am low. I have let Him down time and again, but He has never failed me. My God is my life, my air and my everything. I live my life for Him.

I am and always will be an artist. Drawing will always be one of my first loves and music is something i can never live without. I appreciate skin art and am a henna tattoo artist. I also play instruments and sing whenever I can. I say whenever because I can sing anywhere and not be shy about it. I do drums and guitar, but not as well as I would like to. Anime has always been part of my life, and it's my primary art form. This and many other things have drawn me to the awesomeness of Japanese culture. In many ways, my work is highly influenced by emotion and thus, can be in the mood or out of it just because. I admire people who have great graphic talent as I am very visual in nature; I also prefer movies that impress my eyes and emotion more than it does my intellect. All in all, Art will always be one of my defining points.

I love my family and they are the most important people in my life. I enjoy a very rare closeness with both my parents and I believe that their experience and wisdom is something that I will always trust and learn from. My dad looks almost exactly like me (i've been told time and again) and my mom is simply the most beatiful lady alive until i meet my girl. I am blessed to have God-fearing and amazing and down-to-earth and loving parents. They are one of my pillars and inspirations in this complicated world. My siblings are amazing. Being the eldest,  I have a brother next to me and he is an artist as well, a better one than me for that matter. Next to us is a sister that beats the crap out of the way celebrities look and is one of the coolest out there. Last is my kid brother, whose "kulit" knows no bounds and is sweet without reserve. All of us fight, make noise and go crazy..just like that. I will always remain grateful and indebted to my family. Most of what I am now is because of them, and I am never ashamed to let the world know that I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

Since I was a kid, I have always held a special facination for nature and wildlife. I would browse encyclopedias and books and TV stations just looking for any new facts I could learn about them. Although I am not a field person in any way, the beauty of life and nature have always amazed me and has never failed to entrap my senses. From the  majestic birds of prey to the fierce big cats to the swarming bugs to the creepy fishes of the depths, all of these arouse my curiosity like no other. I can sit through hours watching documentaries without even noticing time pass by. I would even like to be a wildlife advocate at some point in my life, and this is no joke. Given the chance, i would like to support the foundations that support the national bird of my country, the ever noble Philippine Eagle. It's a treasure I know is worth protecting, and I would do so without a moment's hesitation. I just love animals, and learning about them is something that I can't do without.

I'm a textbook dreamer, and I have I never stop visualizing how I will be in the future. The path may not be so clear right now, but I continue on imagining aspects of my life and how I would like them to be, and I know for a fact that God has set these things upon my heart. I do pray, though, that if at any point my plans do not align to His, that He leads me and molds my life the way that His perfect plan dictates.

I would define myself as an encourager and an appreciator, and I want people to be happy and appreciated for who they are and what they have - maybe because I want to feel the same way, too. I avoid judging others and put as much effort as I can in doing so. I hate gossip and will stop rumors from spreading if ever it reaches me. I will never solicit personal or sensitive information about a person I'm not even connected to. I believe gossiping is unfair to the ones concerned and are worthless and destructive. In a way, though, I somehow have a crowd pleaser type personality since I have a sanguine-type temperament. I am doing my best to moderate this though, as I believe trying to please others is not a healthy way of living. You can never please everybody. I love the spotlight and I would never shy away from attention - this is simply the way I am programmed. I dislike socializing and pleasantries, but I have learned to be good at these since there are times that they are needed. I choose my friends and I do so wisely - surrounding myself with people that complement me.  I believe that I should reach out more, however, and that I should learn to establish connections with important people and invest in relationships that would help me and those around me become better. I dislike parties very much, but I could tolerate going to one to help out a friend. I prefer simple dinners and quiet celebrations with select important people.

With all these being said, here are some basic/crazy facts about me:

• I am straight-edged, meaning I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, or have any vices like these.
• I prefer prefer wearing my hair long.
• Darl, Bobit, Bit, Da, Dada, Darrell, and Dar are the names people call me. Only my mom calls me Darl.
• I am afraid of dogs that don't know me and cockroaches that fly.
• I am crazy over rollercoasters and other thrill rides.
• I take calculated risks.
• I eat ALOT.
• I get weirdly affectionate with pets.
• I only wear neutral/earth colors.
• It takes a lot for me to get fed up of anything.
• I forget things.
• I believe confidence makes a girl sexy.
• I believe simplicity makes a girl beautiful.
• I think one of the best feelings in the world is when you have the wind blow through your hair.
• I rarely watch TV now.
• I love collecting bonnets, jackets and shoes.
• I smile alot.
• I avoid eating food that have small interruptions inside (bones and seeds and stuff).
• I stargaze and look out the window when it's raining (hence the blog name).
• I can be impassive and uncaring sometimes.
• In art, i dislike skeletons but love dragons.
• I've always prefer a sleek look over an imposing one.
• I have a mobile phone named Theodore.
• I'd go for easy listening music over rock and hip-hop most of the time.
• I get jealous, even with friends.
• I complement people when they deserve it. Don't assume it's ass-kissing.
• I don't like wearing apparell that impose brand names.
• I overthink things.
• Expressions I tend to overuse are "pretty much", "what's the plan?", and "for a change".

And with that, I officially end the not-so-late introduction to my life, and let you guys know me through my blogs. *bow*

Just Another..

I thought we'd last forever

I'm not sure if I thought wrong,

I did my best to keep you,

but still ended up alone.

I don't know what to do now,

but what i do know is this,

I would still want to be your last,

not just someone who shared your kiss.

Am I..

Just another lover,

Just another one like them?

Will you tell them all about me,

While you smile and hold their hand?

Just another lover..

A stage that's finally done.

I hope i can bring you back to that forgotten day,

when you said that i was the one.

Feeling lost and confused,

I'm not sure what i did wrong,

to make you change your mind just like that,

and leave me all alone.

It's all still fresh in my mind,

the moments that we shared,

But I know nothing i can do right now,

Can make come back and care..

Are you..

Just another lover,

Just another one like them?

Will you just forget about me,

and move on to another man?

Just another Lover,

A stage that's finally done?

I hope i can bring you back to that forgotten day,

when you said I was the one.

I know right now that I still Love you,

But i don't know if I'll hold on.

I know I can wait forever,

If you just tell me..

That I still have your heart.

Am I..

Just another lover,

Just another one like them?

Will you tell them all about me,

While you smile and hold their hand?

Just another lover..

A stage that's finally done.

I hope i can bring you back to that forgotten day,

when you said that i was the one.

_Original Composition_

Matanda Kana Nga Ba?

Matanda kana. Alam mo na ginagawa mo.

Yan ang madalas naten marinig na payo ng isang kabarkada na ipinapasayo nalang ang desisyon sa iyong problema. Eto ung tipo ng payo na hindi mo alam kung bukal sa puso kasi nakakaloko - yun bang pakiramdam mo tinatamad lang silang pakinggan ang paulit ulit mo na pagsasalita. Yan din ang naririnig naten sa mga kaibigan naten pag tipong ayaw naten pakinggan ang sinasabi nila kasi matigas ang ating ulo. At sa bandang huli, malalaman mo na tama naman pala sila.

Matanda kana.

Minsan iniisip naten, porke sumampa tayo sa isang nasasabing edad o punto sa ating buhay, ay masyado na tayong "may alam" para magkamali. "Alam ko!" with matching emote. Ikaw pa ung galit pag nasasabihan ka. Di naten naiisip na wala sa edad ang karanasan na meron ang isang tao at posibleng ang isang dyis-anyos ay may naranasan at nalalaman na nalilingid parin sa atin. At madalas din, kung maulit man ung isang sitwasyon na naranasan na naten dati, may kargang resbak. Kasi nde na ito papagtuunan ng masyadong madaming atensyon at pag-iisip at lakas kung alam mo na ung gagawin, diba? Ika nga ni, ahm, ung leon sa Chronicles of Narnia na nakalimutan ko na ang pangalan, "Things never happen the same way twice, little one," Basta ganun. Moral Lesson? WAG MASYADONG MAGALING. 

Matanda kana.

Dapat naiisip naten na ang problema ay kasama naten habambuhay. At kung tayo ay tumatanda o gumagaling, tinatapatan din tayo ng mga mas matinding problema. Hindi mo masasabing wala kang problema, kasi kung un ang iniisip mo, padating na yun. Walang edad na wala nito. Nung sanggol ka pa lamang ay pinoproblema mo ang gatas mo at pinapasabog mo ang tenga ng bawat tao sa kwarto para malaman nila yun. Pagsampa mo ng kindergarten ay pinoproblema mo pano magsulat, at kung pano makakakuha pa ng mas madaming kendi. Pagdating mo ng hayskul, pinoproblema mo ung babaeng kras mo na hindi ka pinapansin, at patay ka kasi torpe ka. Matapos ang kolehiyo, pinoproblema mo ang trabaho at ang magiging lugar mo sa mundo. Eto pa isa - Happy ending naba pag nag-asawa ka? MUKHA MO. Proproblemahin mo ang pakikipagkasundo sa taong halos buong buhay mo hindi kilala at ang pagpapalaki sa mga magiging supling niyo. Sa huling bahagi ng kwento ng buhay mo, edad na ang kalaban mo. Malapit na ang finish line.

Matanda Kana.

Hindi gawa sa bakal ang balat at lalong hindi gawa sa bato ang puso. Ang disenyo ng sa tao ay may pakiramdam at nagkakasugat, at ito ay para masulit naten ang buong sarap ng buhay. Hindi ito nagbabago sa pagtanda. Tumindi man ang resistensya mo sa sakit, masusugatan ka parin sa maling ahit. Lumagpas ka man sa sinasabe nilang "puppy love" ay masasaktan ka parin pag merong mahalagang tao na nawala sayo. Masasaktan at masasaktan ka. Tandaan mo yan. Kung dumating ka man sa punto na hindi kana nasasaktan, kongrats nang malaki sayo, pare. HINDI KANA TAO.

Matanda Kana.

Andami ko nang nakitang matatanda, mawalang galang na po, na parang hari o reyna kung magreklamo o humingi ng serbisyo. Hindi ito mali, at kadalasan naman ay may punto sila. Sana lang, hindi pinapairal ang yabang na kasama minsan ng pagtanda. Kulang nalang ay sakalin nila ung mga taong nagtitiis para pagbigyan sila. Pantay-pantay lang tayo dito, mga manong at manang. Tao tayong lahat dito. Gustuhin man ng iba na rumespeto sa nakakatanda, dapat din naman ay makitang karespe-respeto sila. Kung bastos man ung mga kabataan na kaharap nila, dapat lang ng ipakita nila na mas may delikadesa at talino ang mga senior, tama?:)

Matanda Kana.

At tandaan mong hindi ito totoo. Maaaring mas matanda ka sa iba, pero hindi mo pwedeng sabihin ito na parang nasa rurok kana ng kagalingan at nakaaangat ka.

Dapat handa kang matuto.

Dapat handa kang humarap ng problema.

Dapat handa kang masaktan.

Dapat handa kang magpakumbaba.

Eto na..

Sabe nila, masarap daw magsulat. Maiilagay mo dito ang iyong mga naiisip at nararamdaman noong panahong dumating ito at maaari mong balikan pagdating ng panahon. Pag binalikan mo ito, maaari kang mapangiti o matawa o mainis o malungkot o masuka, kasi malamang sa malamang, maiisip mo na hindi na pala parehas ang mga bagay-bagay at marami nang nagbago mula nun.

Hindi ako mahilig magsulat. Hindi ko ito nakagisnan at lalong hindi ko pinag-aksayahan ng panahon. Pero bakit ako nagsusulat? Malay ko. Pag nalaman ko, ipapagsigawan ko sa mundo, ayos ba?

. . .

Ako ung tipo ng tao na mahilig gumuhit at mahilig magbalik-tanaw sa nakaraan. Hindi malinaw ang aking memorya sa mga bagay - MAKAKALIMUTIN AKONG TAO. Pero pag sumagi ang isang alaala sa isip ko, matatandaan ko pati emosyon na kasama nung alaala na un. Madalas, meron pang kasamang background music. Oha.

Napapangiti ako dahil nakikita ko ang dating ako - bata, padalos-dalos, makulit, takot, madaldal, masayahin, at syempre, CUTE. Haha. Walang basagan ng trip.

Natatawa ako dahil andami ko nang nagawang kalokohan, at marami pang mangyayari na tatawanan ko ulit.

Naiinis ako dahil gusto kong batukan ang aking sarili nuon at sabihing, "bat ba kasi antakaw mo?! Tignan mo ko ngayon! TIGNAN MOOO!!! Anlaki ng iniwan mong trabaho sakin! Hmph!"

Nalulungkot ako dahil may mga bagay na gusto mo sanang andyan parin hanggang ngayon, pero di mo na maiibalik - tulad nung laruan kong Power Rangers na Megazord dati. huhu. Panghihinayang.

Nasusuka ako dahil sa mga kagimbal-gimbal na desisyon na ginawa mo dahi, tulad nung pagkain ng ubod ng sarap ng putahe na malaman-laman mo'y *toot* pala ng kalabaw. Fill in the blanks.

Pano ito naging konek sa pagsulat? DETALYE.:)

. . .

Pwera Biro, masaya pala talagang gawain ito. Masaya kasi lumilipad ka sa isang mundo na walang makakaabot sayo kundi sarili mo lang. Yun yung lugar sa pagitan ng panaginip at katotohanan. Ang lugar na ito ay magkakaiba,  depende sa manunulat. Sa ilan ay mala-impyerno, sa iba ay mala-langit, at sa iba naman ay mala-engkantadia. Kumbaga, parang yung sa pelikulang "The Matrix". Lahat pwede mong gawin. Lahat pwede mong isulat. Walang makakapigil sayo. Ang kaya lang gawin ng mga mambabasa ay mag-react at makaramdam ng emosyon. Pero kung manunulat ka na may paninindigan at alam ang iyong mga sinasabe (syempre dapat hindi ka sabog), alam mo na karaniwan yun at inaasahan.

Andaming satsat, isa lang naman ang punto.

MAGSUSULAT NA AKO.

Abangan.

Hapless..

Wandering through the void,
my soul seeks respite..

The doubt, the sorrow, it stings.

The pain is bittersweet,

like a rose clenched tightly in one's fist.

I cannot let go.

I am a dreamer,

but the dreams bring nothing but shadows.

I seek your face in futility. 

You are not there,

You are not there.

You are a  thousand miles beside me,

your hand out of reach.

Where are you, my heart?

You are  a mystery, a phantom.

One i cannot fathom even with a lifetime's worth of thoughts.

Let down your rope, that I may discover more of you.

Beautiful and terrifying,

like a rainless hurricane.

Your winds freeze me where i stand and in your presence,

I know not what i should do.

Your voice pierces my being and cuts me down.

I will wait,

I will wait.

Eternity is nothing more than a minute.