Digging Into My Unconscious..

I was a college teacher and i taught in a prestigious European university of which i did not know the name. Students were from all over the world and I was very happy with the profession i chose. People liked me and I felt a sense of fulfillment whenever a student of mine passed by the corridor and greeted me.

Then I was in a large church and went on a mission to spy on an underground organization within it. I went through secret passages until i was in a hallway that looked like a medieval dungeon. Passing through it, i finally encountered the leader, an old man with a thick white beard whose facial features was obscured by a dark cloaked. We talked and i found out he wasn't as creepy as his looks suggested, and I became a member of the group. I went with several of the group's top tier members and found out that some of my family were already a part of it.

Then i was learning how to drive and was mentored by a street racer who drove a supercar. I was racing like a pro right of the bat and he commended my driving skills. I was still on the mission the leader sent me on, and there were several other cars from other groups trying to attack me.

~ fin ~

Note to Self..

TODAY is the best day of your life!:)

Quarter Life Going on Thirty...

It's late at night, or should i say early in the morning, and I'm still very much wide awake, with thoughts flying everywhere. There are only a couple of weeks left until i turn 26, past quarter life, and i thought it'd be a great idea to write down the things i want to accomplish in my life or the things i wanna have before I turn 30. I don't really have a clear cut plan on how to go about pulling these off, but for the sake of at least having goals to drive me forward, here goes.

• To change more into a God-fearing man with a stable ministry and an ever-growing relationship with my Lord and savior, Jesus; To be a man after his own heart.
• To have a stable, financially sufficient post or a good business - One that's enough for me to help my family out and for me to be financially free. Abroad or local, either way. I would most probably be in the public relations or training profession.
• To submit myself to a wise, God-fearing mentor whom I will be accountable to and will walk with me in actualizing my potential and achieving God's purposes in my life.
• To expand my resume to the point that it is internationally competitive and brimming with achievement and excellence. Seminars and accreditation and licenses are a must. 
• To find my princess, wherever she is in this world. I know that the Lord is getting her set up for me and taking good care of her. I'm still waiting and I know she is, too.
• To develop a functional and fit physique, not just one with form. I want a healthy body that's ready to handle any situation with enough strength, agility and endurance to pull off what i have to do.
• To acquire a place of my own. A rent-to-own condo or apartment would be nice, but a house would be awesome. It would be contemporary and would have a good view.
• To get a good place for my folks. Same as above, but somewhere near my own place so I can drop by any time.
• To be immersed in a unique sport and excel in it. Martial arts or Parkour, maybe.
• To form an extensive network of people from all walks of life and from every profession who will sharpen me, grow with me, and empower me to make changes not only in my life, but also of others.
• To support a foundation that will help in saving and preserving the natural beauty of my country, the Philippines. I am looking at you, Philippine Eagle Foundation.
• To enhance my drawing and music skills.
• To form a solid and efficient daily routine that will get me set through the day while having fun doing it.
• To buy myself a good car - nothing too extravagant or fancy, but one that says something about me and is efficient and functional to boot. Oh, and i wouldn't mind getting myself a big bike, too.
• To reconcile with everyone i have wronged.

I know that most of these are tall orders and they may seem a bit much, but i will be doing my best and working hard to make these things reality. I know that as long as i have my plans aligned to him, I can never go wrong, so I hope they are. Oh, and these are still very much subject to change. Just to quote,

"People are only limited by their thoughts"

Note to Self...

Start making urgency a habit...NOW.

Barkadaness..

Mga tunay na kaibigan. Mahirap mahanap. Sa dinami dami ng tao sa mundo, may mga ilan lang talaga na magiging bahagi ng buhay mo. Ang karamihan ay dadaan lang. makikilala. makakausap. makakalimutan. Pinagpala ka kung makakahanap ka ng tunay na kaibigan.

Sa Pilipinas, ang isang grupo ng magkakaibigan na tinadhana at minalas na magkasama-sama ay tinatawag na BARKADA. Ang barkada ang ikalawang pamilya ng isang tao. Minsan, primera pa nga. Karaniwang nabubuo ito sa sa kabataan ng isang tao, hayskul o kolehiyo madalas. Hindi limitado sa isang barkada ang isang tao - kadalasan, may isang barkada sa bawat yugto ng buhay.

Ang barkada kong pinakamalapit ay ang barkada ko nung kolehiyo. 6 kame sa grupo nung nagsimula, at ako lang ang lalake. Nakakapagtaka man ay madali para sa akin ang makasundo ang mga babae. Nung unang mga araw ng kolehiyo ay kame na ang nagkasama-sama at simula noon ay naging matatalik na magkaibigan na. Simula nung mga nene palang ang mga un ay naging bahagi na sila ng magulong buhay ko. Nasaksihan namen ang pagtanda ng bawat isa at nagdamayan sa karamihan ng aming problema - eskwela, pamilya, pag-ibig at kung anu-ano pa. May 10 taon ko na silang kakilala, at napakarami narin ang nagbago.

Nung kaming lahat ay nagtapos at nagkahiwahiwalay ng landas, naging madalang ang pagkikita. May kanya-kanyang mundo na kameng iniikutan at kanya-kanyang diskarte sa pag-galaw dito. Dumating din ung panahong halos di kame nagkakasama dahil narin sa trabaho at pagtutuon ng oras sa maraming ibang bagay. Pero malalaman mo na matibay ang samahan ninyo pag dumaan kayo sa lahat ng ito pero ganun parin ang lahat pag nagkita kayo.

Ang barkada ko ay walang katulad, pero may mga batas parin kaming sinusunod upang masabing ganap na barkada kame..

1. Ang barkada ay bawal sumunod sa oras na napag-usapan para magkita-kita. Pag on-time ka, lugi ka.
2. Ang barkada ay bawal makipaglandian sa isa't-isa. Andameng pwede landiin sa labas..walang taluhan.
3. Ang barkada ay nagdadamayan sa problema. Kung di mo maiiwan ang pinagkakaabalahan mo ngayon, atlis kamustahin mo ang may problema at sabihin mong "okay lang yaaaaaaann...".
4. Ang barkada ay nagpapa-inom pag may okasyon, problema, lungkot, o ligaya. At dahil hindi ako umiinom, okay na ko sa pizza.
5. Ang barkada ay patas magbigay pag ambagan.
6. Ang barkada ay nagpapakopya ng takdang aralin sa isa't-isa. Bawal umamin na kinopya mo ito kahit bistado ka.
7. Ang barkada ay laging kulang pag may lakwatsa dahil laging merong isang magdadahilan sa huling minuto. Kung makumpleto man kayo, dapat once-a-century lang.
8. Ang barkada ay laging nagpaplano ng lakad pero dapat 1 lang sa 10 ang natutuloy. Kung gusto mong matuloy, dapat biglaan.
9. Ang barkada ay laging may natitirang kasapi na hindi lasing sa inuman para alagaan ang mga tumaob na sa alak. Ako yung nag-aalagang un.
10. Ang barkada ay bawal maging malungkot. Kung malungkot man, dapat di obyus. Kung gusto mong umiyak, dapat may tama ka muna.
11. Ang mga nobyo at nobya ay "extension" ng barkada.

Nagpapasalamat ako sa napaka-lupet at mapang-asar kong mga kabarkada. Kung di dahil sa inyo, malamang ay naging normal na nilalang ako. At dahil lahat tayo ay abnoy, walang iwanan kahit kailan, okay? Hinding-hindi ko kayo ipapagpalit kahit kanino. Salamat. Mahal na mahal ko kayo.

Lhea..

Irene..

Gie..

Gracia..

at Joy..

special mention:

Alyson..

Yuz..

Benzon..

Jake....

and the Australian guy..

CIAO.

A Moment Of Conceit..

You are AMAZINGLY GOOD LOOKING..

     ..Don't let any other person tell you otherwise.

You are EXCEPTIONALLY INTELLIGENT..
     ..People simply don't think the same way you do.
You are DEFINITELY STRONG..
     ..Being able to manage this far proves that.
You are EXTREMELY SEXY..
     ..And people out there definitely has the hots for you.
You are INCREDIBLY TALENTED..
     ..Do your best and share whatever skill you have.
You are AWFULLY CHARMING..
     ..Show that killer smile and engage people.
You are HANDS-DOWN WITTY AND HUMOROUS..
     ..there are just a few that don't get it.
You are REMARKABLY CONFIDENT..
     ..now go out there and take the stage!
You are UTTERLY LOVED..
     ..By people you take for granted most of the time..
You are IMMENSELY POWERFUL..
     ..And once you realize this, you can change history.

Note To Self...

Punching a concrete wall, especially one that's crudely made, does not help. Ouch.

Raindrops..

The rainy season has always been my favorite over summer - cold temperatures mean easier sleep, a more pleasant feeling while traveling, plus there's just something about the way raindrops sound when they hit your roof. I love rain. I can run around without umbrella and just enjoy getting soaked by the small droplets of water. Call it emotional or whatever you want. I'm an artist. I have the perfect excuse to act weird.

As lovely as the rains are, there's also another something to it that makes me not want it at certain times - The sadness it invokes. When it rains, it seems like a time when the heavens are mourning and depending on how you are at the moment, it can feel like it's mourning with you. The cold it brings sucks out all the warmth that's left in you and you end up freezing inside. The small raindrops can drown out the sound of everything else around you and you feel like you're the only one in the world. There's just so much about it that makes you feel lonely.

This morning, i woke up feeling really cold, drained, and just plain empty and scared for i don't know what reason. Our ceiling is bare, and you can audibly hear the patter of the rain on our roof, filling my senses as it welcomes me back to reality. I didn't have what it took to get up right away so i took my time lying down in bed and tried to muster enough strength to sit upright. Was it the hangover of a really weird dream? Maybe. Was it the feeling of guilt for not going to work last night? Possibly. Was it the feeling of being left alone by someone who you thought was going to be there forever? Hmmm. Maybe it's a mix of all these. I finally got the chance to pull myself together to go to the bank to pick up some money. I didn't even feel like having breakfast. (I haven't eaten a morsel up until now and i still don't feel like eating). I got home numb and cold but i was still pretty much okay. Then i went online just to write down how I was feeling and just a few moments ago, I read something that totally changed the way this blog was supposed to turn out. . .

I am feeling devastated, and the rain is only adding in to the pain. Drop after drop after drop of pain comes pouring in to flood my already ruined heart. Excruciating would not be enough to describe the emotion that is here right now. I am shaking. I am cold. I am hurt. There's no other way to put it. The funny thing is, I'm not even crying, as if all the tears that need to come out are already being cried by they dark, gloomy skies. The sorrow and pain seem like eternity, with no end in sight. I can barely hold on to the harsh reality of things, wanting to just let go and fade away. . .

Please let it go away. . .

There's always sunshine after the rain, and it's the truth no matter how much of a cliche it sounds. I can only endure until that time comes, when i can go around with a real smile on my face again. God knows how much I would like to get patched up, but it just seems like a long ways off when you're heart's shattered into a million pieces and you are the only one picking them up. . .